the future

I spend a lot of time thinking what i am going to do in the future. Sometimes i lose sleep b/c i have so much on my mind. Poker has been very good to me so far this year, and I know I am capable of making a TON of money..easily 80-100k if I can play well and often enough. While that would be a lot of money, it doesn't make my life goals all that easier. Because its not a guaranteed salary, and i need to have a big % in my Bankroll, it will take me a while to be able to afford a house and family. Maybe i'm crazy and I don't need to be making this a big deal over the next year or two, but I can honestly say I want to get married in the next 3-4 years and have kids in my early 30s. Ok, seeing this written down as opposed to hearing it in my head, i have determined that i am indeed crazy. I think the only problem i have with my goal is the money in my bankroll doesn't seem real to me, maybe that day i get to withdrawal 20k from my roll it will hit me how much money that is.

Anyways, now that that's out of the way.. I have decided to take a long break from poker to gather myself. Haven't played in 4 days and i'm leaving for Key west in 14 hours. Going to be down there for 5-6 days, will probably play a couple FTOPS tournaments, but other than that its going to be a poker free trip. When i get back i will try to get back on track. Maybe watch a couple of Jared's sessions to sharpen my instincts, and then i'm going to try to play 3500+ hands/day until the Vegas trip. Current Roll: 20,000. Hopefully i can get back to my winning ways and get my roll to 35k before the Vegas trip. I also plan on making some videos for PokerDynasty and maybe do some coaching sessions if i can find some students to take under my wing.

drunk

so yea, i'm drunk, so if my post seems crazy.....yeah. Anyways, i'm taking some time off poker cuz i'm running as shitty as it gets.. -9k last week and a half, all my profit from the week before vanished.. Poker hates me right?... i think so. So i've been chillin everyday playin some volleyball, goin the gym, etc... Leavin for Key West friday afternoon, gonna spend a week or so there, gonna kill a shit ton of fish to make me happy! sorry fish! btw...anyone want some fresh grouper/snapper/any fresh fish?...cuz i'm gonna shoot 'em all.... will post pictures.

My main point to this post is...are there any worth while girls left in this world? I just want to meet a down to earth girl who doesn't smoke cigarettes, doesn't cause useless drama, and has something to offer me? I don't want to be the only one to bring money to the table... I wanna meet a rich girl. A girl with some smarts, and a girl who knows what she wants. btw... i'm kidding about the rich girl...i just want to meet a girl that can keep me going...A girl that can make me crazy and keep me real at the same time. A girl that won't drowned my personality...a girl that will put me to the test. I am so awesome...haha, seriously though, I AM. I need a girl that can push me to be as amazing as i can be, no dull moments.. that is all for now. Sorry i haven't been keeping up with the posts... i have trouble puting my thoughts into words.. And i hate writing, but now i'm starting to enjoy it b/c it eases my mind. Egh. Peace

egh, lot on my mind

So i was going to play a lot of poker tonight, but am not in the mood to gamble. It would probably result in me losing a lot of money. I'm having one of those days where i wish i was somewhere else than my life...maybe not a day, just a moment anyways. I am really happy to live with the people i live with, just sometimes i wish we had more in common.. My personality is kind of outcast to theirs, while we do share a lot of the same interests, i can only watch so much baseball on tv. I can't stand being inside all day watching tv, playing video games, and poker. I need something exhilarating, something physical and challenging. I like to be surrounded by people who are motivated towards a goal. I usually can keep positive about most, but occasionally i just get brought down by those around me. Like the friend who tries to run you over, and then gets home and yells at you on AIM only because you put his windshield wiper up when you got out of his car. I wish someone other than Ryan and I would clean the apartment, Jared isn't terrible at it, but another person never makes an effort. Do you ever feel like you make an extreme effort to help a friend out of a funk and money trouble, and they still go about their life like no trouble exists, and they don't go out of their way to make a change or make you feel like you should keep trying. I hate feeling alone in an apartment with 3 other people i consider to be my best friends. Things are getting better though, Ryan and I play basketball a couple times a week, tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo and we're gonna be at the pool drinking Corona and playing Volleyball all day. One more week and i will be in Key West for 6 days. That should really help out, going out in the boat and diving every day seems to relax me. Maybe a good dinner will help clear my head so i can play a session.

day off

I had a good week of poker last week, this week seems to be a little different. But i'll get into that later. Got a chance to go diving yesterday with a friend of mine from key west who also lives up here in tampa. Pretty interesting day, we go out at noonish and get to the wreck at 1:30. We pull up and there are barracudas everywhere and a big cobia swimming on the surface, which is good eating and really fun to shoot(hopefully i can post the photo). So we anchor up and start freediving, the depth is 45ft. My first drop down i see a really nice grouper hauling ass away, and then a 6-7 foot Bull Shark cruises by on the bottom. He didn't seem too threatening so we keep going, after a bit i notice the cobia lying on the bottom. I try to get my friend to back me up, but he ends up diving down behind me and eventually see's the cobia on the bottom and he goes and shoots it! Asshole steals my fish!! Its all good though cuz he didn't know i was there. The cobia fights real hard and shakes the spear free and starts swimming in a circle on the bottom. All the commotion brings the shark through and he does a pass checking things out and then dissapears. After a couple more shots and about 5 minutes we get the nice cobia and swim him back to the boat.

Now we rest for like 5min and get back in. Swim around for awhile and i make a dive to about 15 ft off the bottom and scan the area for fish. As i'm about to head up for air I look over my shoulder to see this Bull Shark coming up from behind me about 10ft away. By the time i get turned around and get my gun between he is about 5 ft away and closing. He makes a slight turn more towards me and i Jab my spear as hard as i can square into his nose. Not liking that he takes off to the bottom and cruises around for a little bit while we swim back towards the boat. I was really lucky i saw him when i did b/c one of two things would have happened:

1) He just does a curious pass by and maybe grazes my fins.

or

2) He does a curios pass and takes a test bite out of my leg.

Anyways, all the rest of the fish we saw were small and all we got was this cobia....